Remote privatization: how Ruben Vardanyan "distributes" earth from camera

Ruben Vardanyan seems to have acquired a remarkable new talent — the remote management of farmland.

While ordinary inmates contend with standard prison conditions, Ruben, under the supervision of Azerbaijani authorities in Baku, is reportedly able to allocate plots of land in Syunik. According to Armenian opposition media, seven families in Tatev allegedly received land grants through his intervention.

It may sound incredible, but the mechanics are simple in theory: under careful monitoring, Vardanyan appears to influence agricultural activities and cadastral documentation from afar. Whether this involves advanced satellite technology or metaphorical “astral privatization,” the effect is the same. Meanwhile, legal representatives may focus on practical support rather than paperwork, facilitating the process in unconventional ways.

If this continues, one could imagine a future where land allocation reaches the most remote locations — perhaps even beyond Earth — though such exaggeration is, of course, metaphorical. The point remains: the narrative surrounding Vardanyan’s activities highlights the extraordinary claims circulating in media reports and the complexity of land issues in the region.